Part One: How to help your autistic child communicate
Cherie Somers, Alicia McManaman
6/24/20262 min read
If you have ever searched, “My autistic child isn’t talking,” you are not alone.
Many parents come to us feeling worried, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next. They may be wondering:
How do I get my autistic child to communicate?
Should I make my child say words?
What if therapy isn’t helping?
These are big questions. But before we focus on getting more words, we have to start with something deeper.
At Connect-it’s not just speech, we believe meaningful communication begins with connection.
Before a child can use more words, gestures, signs, AAC, or phrases, they first need to understand that communication has value, purpose, power, and joy.
Communication Is More Than Talking
If your child is not using spoken words yet, that does not mean they are not communicating.
Your child may already communicate through:
Reaching
Pulling your hand
Looking toward something
Moving closer to something they want or away from what they don’t want
Vocalizing
Facial expressions
Gestures (traditional or nontraditional)
Signs
AAC
Body movements
Joyful stimming
The first step is noticing the communication that is already happening.
When we recognize these early communication attempts and respond to them, we help the child learn:
“My communication matters.”
That is where progress begins.
Why Pressure Can Backfire
When a child is not talking, adults often try harder.
We ask more questions.
We say, “Say ___.”
We call their name repeatedly.
We hold up a toy and wait for a word.
We ask them to label colors, animals, or objects.
These strategies may seem helpful, but for many autistic children, they can feel like pressure.
And when communication feels like pressure, children may tune out, move away, or communicate less.
Instead of asking, “How do I make my child talk?” we want to ask:
“How do I help my child want to communicate with me?”
That question changes everything.
Start With What Your Child Loves
The best place to begin is with your child’s interests.
That might be:
Jumping
Spinning
Water play
Music
Bubbles
“I’m gonna get you”
Tickles
Toy cars
Opening and closing doors
Watching objects fall
Favorite songs or routines
Your child’s interests are not distractions from communication.
They are the doorway into communication.
Instead of trying to pull your child away from what they love, join them there.
Try This Today
Choose one activity your child already enjoys. Let’s use spinning them around as an example.
Pick them up and spin them around.
Put them down and watch for ANY communication attempt.
As soon as they do ANY form of communication, no matter how subtle . .
Respond by picking them up and spinning them again.
A second example, if your child loves bubbles, you might blow bubbles and say:
“Bubble, bubble, bubble... pop!”
Your child might look, smile, reach, vocalize, move closer, or use a word.
That is communication.
Respond immediately by continuing the fun and blowing more bubbles!
Final Thought
If your autistic child is not talking yet, communication IS possible.
But the starting point may need to shift.
Before more words, we build more connection.
Before we expect communication, we help the child experience why communication matters.
And that happens one tiny interaction at a time.